Thursday, March 12, 2009

Worker Out Of Here

New Guinneasborough, NJ. Local copy editor Jay Lance is totally out of here, according to sources. Lance issued a statement approximately 20 minutes before the customary 5 o'clock closing time stating, "Dude, I'm outty" to his cubicle partner, Janet Wastmunt, who is considering ditching out herself. Despite repeated warnings from his supervisor, Lance is hoping to get out early thereby beating the rush at the 19th Hole sportsbar, and procuring a seat near the jukebox where female office workers have been known to congregate. Smoothing back his wavy brown hair, Lance placed his reuseable lunch bag in the pocket of his coat so if he were accosted or detained on his way out the door, he could argue that he wasn't going anywhere and would be back in just a second. As a matter of fact, Lance is hoping to finish this exact blog quicker than normal so he can go get a drink. "Fuck it."

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