Wednesday, March 25, 2009

House Somehow Hits Tree

House hits tree.
Intsville, WA. Despite total immobility on the part of both objects and no discernible cause, two inanimate objects have collided. The house owned by Janice and Rufus Dickerson has smashed into the 74 year old oak tree approximately 50 feet away. While neither object has physically moved and both remain standing, they recently became entangled to the point of mutual destruction despite the fact that it is against multiple laws of physics. "I don't know what to make of it," stated Rufus, surveying the destruction, "It's like nothing is different but they're right next to each other now." This baffling scene of destruction has local civil engineers scratching their heads in wonder. "Normally, two inanimate objects can't touch each other but here they are, it must be some kind of rip in the space-time continuum," guessed Intsville tree trimmer Gustav Norson. While the steady growth of the tree limbs was originally cited, witnesses stated the tree was still at least 40 feet away from the house last time they checked. "I just heard this awful sound last night," stated Janice, "And I woke up thinking, my god, the house has hit a tree." Chippy McSquirrelson, the bushy tailed owner of a small nest high in the branches of the tree chirped in protest at the offending house squirrel words which translate roughly to, "Fuck it."

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