Thursday, January 21, 2010

Hotel Celebrates 10 Days Without Armed Standoff

New Brunswick, WI. Fred and Cindy Robbiespierre celebrated ten consecutive days of peace at their Riviera Motor Lodge on the outskirts of New Brunswick. The Riviera has been known by local law enforcement officers as a hotbed of prostitution, drug use and domestic violence. "It's been a great week- almost two weeks!" stated Fred as he and Cindy cautiously looked out the window. Just eleven days ago, local drifter Caleb Hardworth was holed up in room 121 taking potshots at police officers after seven days of drug-induced sleep deprivation. Two days prior to that, Tex Merrimac, a psychotic short-term resident was yelling his demands at the Robbiespierres while his hostages squirmed in the closet. Police reports indicate the Riviera has hosted an armed standoff almost weekly since 2001 with a staggering twelve incidents of armed violence in a single week in 2006. While few explanations have been given, it is assumed that the location of the Riviera situated between a liquor store, a Grocery Outlet and the railroad yard makes it a prime spot for mentally unstable drifters. The Robbiespierres nervously sipped champagne and ate a small slice of chocolate cake unaware that Terry Donaldson in room 221 was cleaning a shotgun while the voices in his head repeatedly said "Fuck it."