McCLAIN ANNOUNCES PRESIDENTIAL BID

New York, NY. Off-duty cop John McClain announced his presidential bid today with a cel phone call while hidden inside a building under siege from German terrorists. McClain, who has saved similar buildings from being destroyed while rescuing bank savings, his wife and the infrastructure of the United States placed the call to his friend Clarence, a fellow off-duty police officer with whom he began an unlikely friendship approximately three movies ago. "I'm serious, this country has some problems," a wounded McClain stated while huddled under a flight of stairs as rival Hans Gruber strafed the room with AK-47 gunfire. When Clarence, safely ensconced in his patrol car outside the facility, suggested McClain run for president, a beleaguered McClain replied, "Y'know, pal, that's a damn good idea. I'm gonna do it," before throwing an improvised grenade in the direction of Gruber. Potential vice-president pick Shia LaBouf's publicist responded to rumors of his candidacy with a prepared statement reading, "Fuck it."